Quote

"A heavy downpour. Stand and face the rain, let it's iron rays pierce you; drift with the water that wants to sweep you away but yet stand fast, and upright in this way abide the sudden and endless shining of the sun."
Kafka

The Beginning of the End?...

It's inevitable, isn't it? Dogs simply have a shorter lifespan that humans, so even if they live out a long and full life, it feels too short. When I first adopted Bodhi, he was approximately a year old. I told myself then not too expect much more than 8 years with him since he is a "large breed". Well, our 7 years together have flown by. It has been in the back of my mind that he is approaching that dreaded age that I had previously put in my head, but his health has always been perfect and we've lead an active lifestyle. On a semi-regular basis we would run the trails in Redwood Park up to 3 times a week. It really is his happy place. I've always loved watching him zip around, sniffing, peeing, and saying hello to all the different dogs on the trail. He just loves it. I love that.

The first "blow" came last November when he was diagnosed with some arthritis in his spine around his hips. But that we could deal with. A little medication. A slower pace. Fine.

Then, this January a simple hike ended with a limping Bodhi. Pulled a muscle? Overdid it, I thought. But with no improvement a vet visit revealed he had torn his CCL (ligament, right rear knee). Hmmnn... That's not good for sure. The $5,000 surgery was just not in the budget, plus after talking with several owners who had gone through it with their dogs I found both pros and cons to that option. I'd wait for a bit to make the decision. Perhaps his running days were over. That seems reasonable. We could still hike. And after 6 months he's walking with an even gait.

Right around that same time a sore developed on his shoulder. Hot spots. He'd had those before. Fine. But it didn't go away, in fact, it didn't even get better. Just worse. Concurrently he seemed to lose his appetite, he'd strain to have mushy stools, he'd strain to pee, he needed to go for potty walks more than twice his normal routine. Okay.... something is "up". The voice in the back of the head said it would not be good news. But we don't really want to think about that! Do we?!....

Yes, the sore tested positive for round cell tumor. Could be bad. May or may not be related to the other issues going on. I think it's time for a second opinion here.

In the meantime, yesterday, he was unable to urinate at all. Today, all we know is that it is an inflamed prostate. But since he's a neutered male the chances are most likely that it is prostate cancer. Cancer..... Is that the voice in the back of my head again? No, it's the vet. I'm trying very hard not to jump ahead here. Medicine is one step at a time. One agonizingly slow step at a time. So we are, at this moment, waiting for the cell aspiration cytology. "By Monday or maybe sooner".... Tick Tock, Tick Tock....

This cancer, the vet said, does not have a good prognosis. She said more, used bigger words. But my head was spinning. So that is how I say it now. He was started on a medication that "may buy him a little time" by reducing the inflammation. But it won't get rid of the cancer.

Officially, Bodhi has not been diagnosed with cancer. But I can't help but wonder if I will be faced with making a decision about his life in the next week. I am not ready for that. I mean, on the outside it's just that he can't pee. And although he has mellowed he is not a sickly dog. He's just old. That is what I think. What I want to think. But the vet and the tests and this reality... they are sounding like that voice in the back of my head. The one I've been trying so hard to ignore.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. "Monday or maybe sooner" seems an eternity away. I am so emotional. I want to make decisions based on fact. I want to be clear headed. I'm not though. I'm sad.

And I'm beginning to wonder if little Biella, full of life and love and enthusiasm beyond, came into our lives to soften this blow. I don't know how much time I have left with Bodhi. My soulmate dog. It could be one week, it could be years. But when the inevitable comes, it will be quite a blow.

Quote

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." -John F. Kennedy

A Day in the Country...

Over the Memorial Day holiday we got to take some time and go visit family "in the country". I guess that is what it's called when you find 4 dogs, 3 cats, 4 kittens, 2 pot belly pigs, 23 chickens, 2 goats, 1 pony, 5 horses, a foal only hours old and, to be honest, I have no idea how many cows. Being a photographer that specializes in pet photography you can imagine how tickled I was! When that afternoon light hit I was in my bliss...

Have Some Fun and Help Animals!

CLAW & The San Francisco SPCA
Invite you to the 8th Annual

Hats Off Fashion Show & Luncheon

benefiting the SF/SPCA's Cinderella Fund

Thursday, June 4, 2009

11:15 am - Reception
12:oo pm - Luncheon
1:oo pm to 2:15 pm - Fashion Show & Live Auction

Ticket prices & information

Not Your Average Sunday....

Wow! What an amazing opportunity I had today! To photograph a Cheetah at a fundraiser event for the Cheetah Conservation Fund. There's nothing quite like making direct eye contact with a big cat without any kind of barricade between you... wow.... Can you imagine having a live Cheetah right in your back yard?!... Well, Nooshy did today! A successful event for a great cause.

According to the CCF the fastest animal on earth is running out of time. The mission of the CCF is to ensure the long-term survival of the cheetah and its ecosystem through a multi-disciplined and integrated conservation program of research, management and education. Visit www.CHEETAH.org for more information on how to help this amazing animal.

(If you are looking for photos from the event I will be providing further information soon)

Buddies

Maxima became fast friends with Biella when she joined our family last September. Even though the first time they met Biella ran circles around Maxima ! Within a month they were wrestling, chasing and cuddling. This was a snap I got with my phone camera of them during a nap...

Jumpin Jack Russell...!

Today I got an extra workout (and so did Denise!), trying to keep up with Hannah and Sampson! I guess you just can't contain the energy of the Jack Russell Terrier... What fun we had in the studio!

Mother's Make the World Go Round....

A favorite photo of my mother and me... circa 1970...

Roy

I recently had the pleasure of photographing the 2 year old son of a dear friend. What a clever and cute little boy Roy is!... Look at him go on his skateboard (note: he does wear his safety helmut, an exception was made for our photos).

It seems like just yesterday we did the belly shots - time flies much to fast!

Maxima

Maxima seems to like rituals. Every morning she goes over to Bodhi and he licks her ears and cleans her up. Then she meanders over to this stool and surveys the land below. The window faces the Port of Oakland. The last place we lived was ground level on a fairly busy foot traffic street in the Jack London District of Oakland. I swear she had a fan club! People would always stop to say hello to the kitty in the window! In fact, some people visited her daily and if she didn't make her appearance I would find notes on my door from complete strangers expressing concern about where the kitty was! Maxima loved the attention. When we first moved here I felt bad that she would not have the same window world of our last place since we are now in a third floor level loft. But she seems very happy. She watches the action in the port, the cars and trains below and even birds flying by. She smells the air. This is one of her happy places.

Valencia - The Beginning

I never really liked orange cats. In fact, I preferred the small sleek black kitties. So when I found a teeny-tiny orange tabby kitten hiding in the tires of a truck on a busy San Francisco street (Valencia St) one evening my thought was that I would get him healthy and find him a good home. Especially since I already had 3 cats, 3 small sleek black cats. I didn't realize yet that I had actually stumbled upon a soulmate.

Quote

Be patient toward all that is unresolved in your heart
And try to love the questions themselves
Do not seek the answers that connot be given you
Because you would not be able to live them
And the point is to live everything
Live the questions now
Perhaps you will gradually without noticing it
Live along some distant day into the answers.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke

Davis

A Skyline Changed Forever...

The towers were my compass. Anyone who was in New York City prior to their fall used those towers as a compass. I was fascinated by them. I loved photographing them. I was living in Manhattan on 9/11. I lived in the West Village at Perry and Hudson, a main avenue that only 20 blocks away ended right at the towers. The weeks, and months, that followed 9/11 can only be described as surreal. I had previously been considering moving back to my hometown in California, but surprisingly, after 9/11 the communities in Manhattan really pulled together. All of the sudden people connected in ways they had not done so previously. We were all in it together. The skyline, the city and the people were changed forever...