The last week and a half somehow feels like an eternity. A whirlwind of information and emotions. It's easy to get lost in the the sadness. The murk that feels like it will engulf one's heart forever. But something has been happening. The support of other dog lovers (animal lovers really) has been like a ray of sunshine that reminds me that I would not trade any of the years of joy with Bodhi to not suffer this pain of losing him. The truth is that the depth of my sadness mirrors the depth of my joy and love for this soulful canine.
One email seemed simple enough: "When you mentioned you feel badly that you can't do anything for him, you are doing something for him by taking time out to cherish every minute together, by sharing his story with others and keeping his spirit strong, and by loving him." These words permeated my thoughts and reminded me of the benefit of staying in the present. Over the last few days I've come to realize in my heart, not just my head, that even though I can not fix his body or change the outcome or keep him here as long as I'd like, I can make the time he has left the best possible! The only thing I really have control over is the quality of his days; lots of love and attention, yummy food, walks at his favorite spots, butt scratches and COOKIES!.... This concept was in my "head" before but now it's in my heart and it feels really good... if that makes sense. Instead of focusing on how sad I am to lose him I want to focus on how much I love him and can give him now, in the present....
Those of us who have true connection with our animals experience them not just as "pets" but as companions. Friends. Family. And in the stories of love and loss that have been shared with me this past week I find a comfort, even a bond. I am not alone. We, as animal lovers, are in this together.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
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